Didi

Father's Day, 15 June 2014

Yesterday, 15th June 2014, the world celebrated Father's Day. I went to dinner with my husband after work. Surprised him in fact, he thought I was already at home. But really, I waited for him by the metro station, and then we had pizza at a nearby favorite restaurant. I also made a simple collage for him which I posted at his Facebook account. 
  
But to the first man I love, my father, our Didi, this is for him. This is just a ramble of random thoughts I have shared with him. And I'm writing it as a letter because I may soon have the courage to post it to him.

Here goes...
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Dear Didi,

   This is my love letter to you. You know I'm a woman of many words when it comes to writing, but keeps her mouth shut when thoughts go bumping crazy in her mind that she could not form words out of them.

   This is just a compilation of what I love about you, of some memories I remember because we share it. And this is the most vivid memory I have of you -- back when I was still in kindergarten, I think, when I asked you if I was adopted. I remember coming down the stairs where your "den" was right next at the end of it. You were reading something, I don't remember what. Then I sat on your lap and popped the question. You asked me how can I ask such, to which I replied, "Kay mura'g dili man jud ganahan si Mama sa ako, sige lang ko niya shagitan. (Because Mama doesn't seem to like me, she keeps shouting at me.)" And simply said that Mama is just like that, that she likes to shout, and that I am your daughter. And it gave me peace of mind, the kind in which you feel that you are told nothing but the truth. And after that, it never EVER occurred to me that I was adopted. I felt unloved, yes. But not adopted.

   Probably because of the middle-child syndrome, same as with Mama, we've never had a close-knit relationship. But unlike with Mama, I could feel a different kind of bond with you. Maybe it is the special bond between fathers and daughters, as it is with mothers and sons. 

   So unlike with Mama, with you I share some thoughts and rant on political and religious issues, discuss new movies, share the same music, play the same instrument and study Math and Sciences. You influenced me into watching sports like boxing and basketball and baseball. I engaged you into watching badminton. While watching broadcast news on the television, we brainstorm on some of the relevant topics. During election polls, I silently await your thoughts and leader-choosing. you influenced me on idolizing Clint Eastwood. Oh, I couldn't help but be proud that you had named me after one of your favorite actresses, Candice Bergen. I know you would have wanted to name me Penelope, which I know I would have liked but honestly, it does sound too girly for me. But instead, you gave in to Lola Masay's wishes that I be named Candies, and I'm so glad you modified it! When I hear of a new movie or a new series, we wait for it in HBO or Star Movies. I do actually miss the late nights watching TV with you. You got me to like Frank Sinatra and Matt Monroe. I remember singing a Sinatra song, New York, New York, on one of the elementary singing contest I had joined. You practiced with me, and suggested that I choose a song sang by a female, but I liked New York, New York because of its upbeat tune and didn't heed your advice, so naturally, the result is... And then I introduced you to Christina Aguilera, Norah Jones and Michael Buble. I learned to play the guitar during high school, and you tune it for me and play some songs. And when I have a Math and Sciences assignment which I could not understand, I always turn to you for an explanation and an answer. And I'd want to think you like tutoring me because one question takes us 15 minutes to tackle, as you enjoy explaining to me in so much detail I kind of wished I didn't seek your help. When I was little, you travel a lot to your hometown. And you never fail to surprise me with a chic when you come home, even if it lasts only about a week. I'd still be sleeping when you arrived, then you'll put the chic on my bed and it would peck on my face or arms, and I'd wake up and laugh. You'll also bring with you buckets of peanuts and green mangoes. I miss walking you out to the street to get a cab, but I was really kind of wishing that you need not go and leave us, even for a few days only.

   I remember you went with me to submit my high school application for UP Cebu. I didn't want to go there because all my friends and classmates are going to the public school. I was hoping you would give up because it was summer during submission period. But you didn't. And I'm glad you didn't and you even reviewed some of the possible interview questions with me. And when it got to college, when I was the one who almost gave up because I wanted UP Cebu but was only on waitlist and I hated the summer heat during submission, but you pushed me forward, scolded me when I woke up late because I still had to go to the school to check if my application got through. And I'm so lucky you did not give up on me. And speaking of summer, there was one when you told me to stop eating because I already look like a balyena (whale). I was not, at the slightest, offended by your comment, because I so seldom hear you give something as blunt as that, because I know that you were telling the truth and you just wanted me to change for the better. I remember laughing off the comment with you. It was early afternoon and I was about to eat something, then you blew me off! Haha!

But for me, the most memorable moment is when you went to my wedding, even if you told me you wouldn't go, even with my sisters and Mama urging you to. I would like to think of it as your surprise wedding gift for me. I know you had a hard time accepting that I wanted to marry at a young age, although I was already at a legal marrying age, and I went ahead with it even without your and Mama's grace. But I hope you understand by now that I was in love, and I trust my heart, and I have loved well.

   Thank you also because now, you love Migo and my kids with all that you can offer. Thank you for all the endless evening talks, fatherly advices and heartfelt humor that you have shared with us. Thank you for being the best dad that you can be. 

"So fathers be good to your daughters,
Daughters will love like you do..." -John Mayer, Daughters

Our parents, Mama Tita and Didi Percy,
New Year's eve, sometime not long ago, maybe 2008 or 2009